I debated on posting this blog. Not because I’m ashamed – I’m one of the most open, honest people you’ll ever meet, but because it’s just hard. But lately, some very brave writer friends of mine have come out admitting they suffer from depression and as I’m going through another bout myself, I thought it was fitting I come clean too. I think many creative people suffer more – perhaps because we feel things more deeply – or maybe we’re just more in tune to FEELINGS since that’s what we write about all day. I don’t know. But for as long as I can remember, I know I’ve felt off. And let’s face it, I didn’t grow up in an era where everyone went to psychiatrists/psychologists or admitted to taking medication. That said, I’m very lucky, in that I grew up in a very functional household where were encouraged to talk about what was bothering us. Which helped. A lot. Then, when I was in my junior year of college, I contracted asceptic meningitis (not the deadly kind thank God) and within that time period, my doctor picked up on my off emotions. This led to therapy and my first try with medication. Which I advocate very highly if needed, because I don’t believe anyone should suffer when they can be helped. That said, please don’t use this blog as a place to argue about the negative effects of medication. I just wanted to say, I believe it’s something that works.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t ALWAYS work and it doesn’t always CONTINUE to work. Which brings me to where I am now. Trying to regulate and get it right. In the meantime, it’s not fun or pleasant. Last week I had a cold and spent the week in bed. You can read between the lines. This week I’m not really working yet. One thing my doctor did mention is SADD (seasonal disorder) and that’s possible. I mean, if I don’t see some sunshine soon, I may just lose my mind. But since I’ve always had this in one form or another, I’m sure that’s not all it is.
What it is, is me. I’ve come to accept it even as I hate it. But too many things are kept in the closet and private, people feeling like there is something wrong with them if they admit they need help. There’s no shame in needing help, therapy, medication or anything similar. It just is. Like a cold is. Like a heart attack is.
So this is my … it is what it is right now. And for some reason, I decided to admit the truth.
The Truth: I debated on posting this blog. Not because I’m ashamed – I’m one of the most open, honest people… http://t.co/VVWJ8ze7aR
i am sorry u are going thew it. i had gone threw depression its not good but for me i just wanted to be left alone and quite and read and read and read.but i couldnt keep doing it i have alot of books to read got a huge box to read. but this winter can put anyone in depression with all the snow we got and boy this year we got alot. i wish i could go somewhere warm and have someone take care of my food and other things. but with no car and no money because i am on disability. so i got back to reading series that have shifters,vamp,got the whold series of lora leigh breeds series. u should get them and read book one threw the last one that came out rule breaker.they put me into a diifferent world. colds are a bummer i get one and i got 4 to 5 months of coughing i take 1000mg of vit c a day and if someone that is sick i take two aday. i also get a flu shot a year.i havent been sick for over 5 years now. even with a cold take the vit c it does help
Thank you for posting this. I have had similar bouts with depression all my life and recently lost a friend who was not willing to deal with or acknowledge her depression. I know it has always helped me to be able to talk with someone about it. As much as we know about depression today, it is still hard to admit and talk about. I admire people brave enough to talk about it, and help bring it more into the daily conversation for everyone else. Thanks Carly. And thank you for your hard work as a writer, you are great.
:yourock:
RT @carlyphillips: The Truth: I debated on posting this blog. Not because I’m ashamed – I’m one of the most open, honest people… http://t…
:wave: You are amazing!
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. Depression is never easy to talk about, especially when you are trying to come to terms with it yourself. I was diagnosed with it 5 years ago and I have periods that are better then others, where I think I have a control on everything and then there are the times where a bad nights sleep can lead not wanting to leave your bed. So once again thank you for posting your story on such an open forum, depression needs to be talked about more so we can lose the stigma associated with it.
You can count yourself as BRAVE as well Carly, it is hard to come out and say it. I think you may be right that creative people feel more deeply. Please know that the people who know and love you, and yes even those of us who only know you through your writing, are proud of you and care about you. Be strong ♡
Congrats, Carly! Depression is not something to be ashamed of. The first step is admitting that you have it. I was diagnosed at the age of 18 (am almost 62 now), and the doctors wanted to give me shock treatments, but I didn’t want to. So they bombarded me with medications. I have been on them ever since, with two bouts of shock treatments in between. At one stage, the doctor mentioned SADD, and suggested I buy a plant light. It has helped with the winter mild depression, so you might try it. When you are on your computer, just turn the light on, and leave it on as long as you are working there. As far as changes in meds, that is completely normal. As you said, sometimes a medication doesn’t work or stops workin, and the doctor starts readjuting meds, which isn’t easy. Unfortunately my depression is caused from hormonal issues, and it runs in my family, with several suicides on both sides. God Bless and good luck!
I have a social worker as an older sister… we have a niece who takes meds for depression.. I always encourage people to get help in understanding why they feel the way they do. I maan, afterall… can you fix your car, no.. you go to a mechanic; can you fix your roof, no you get a roofer.. If you need help, get someone who knows how to fix it —
Oh, and maybe you need one of those light bars for SADD… think of it as ‘tanning’…
I suffered from Major Depressive Disorder after miscarrying my twin boys. It was hard & I was treated with several different medications until the right one was found. I grew up in a house full of men & emotion wasn’t, for lack of a better term, allowed. So I kept journals. That helped a lot but when you hit your 30’s, it’s so hard to find the time. I am much better now, it still hurts but I have more reasons to smile than I ever did before.
The weather contributes a lot to the moods of others. I try to stay home on days with bad weather but if I have to work, I always smile. It typically puts me in a better mood.
You are a great writer & I absolutely love your books. Keep on keeping on :yourock:
Thank you for admitting your struggles. I have suffered from major depression disorder and SAD. It hasn’t been an easy journey for me, but we got my meds right and it makes a difference. Keep being strong, you are not alone. :yourock:
:yourock: God bless you! Many people suffer with depression and medication can help. If more people talked about it in the open, perhaps folks would come to recognize it and treat it for what it is — a medical issue. God love you for stepping out like this and shining a little bit more light on the problem. Hang in there, don’t give up, keep writing, keep loving, keep talking. You’re awesome & don’t forget that everyone has a special place in this world, lessons to learn and contributions to make. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong in heading for a sunny beach right now! (I had to move south to get away from the SADD and this year I found out I didn’t move south enough! Too much snow here, lol!) Ocean beach trip scheduled for April 11th – can’t wait! Thanks for allowing we readers to be a part of your life! :heart:
@carlyphillips Not only open and honest but also courageous. Your books have lifted many of our moods as do your posts. Come on sun!
Wow. How awesome are you that you can admit it. I too have suffered from depression but luckily I’m not there right now. I hope you know how much you pick me up just being yourself and also by posting like you do. I think it’s really therapeutic for me and I hope I can give a little something back to you. BTW I love in sunny San Diego so come do some research and you can stay with us!! Hugs!!
I too suffer from depression and anxiety attacks. I take medication for both. I also see a therapist. But I believe if I wasn’t on meds, I probably would not be here now. I think it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Thanks for sharing your story Carly. It does seem to go hand in hand with writers. I was diagnosed last year after I spent five weeks in bed with pneumonia and dropped 8 kilos (18 pounds). The weight loss and illness sent my system into a ‘chemical nose-dive’ (my doctors words) but I was lucky and I responded to the first med they tried. That’s not to say there haven’t been more ups and downs. Weather, another bout of pneumonia, and general life highs and lows can have me pulling back into the black. It’s a scary place to be in alone and I’m thankful for the family and writing friends who I’ve shared my condition with. I haven’t gone ‘public’ mainly because I don’t want this to define me and sadly, it often does when people find out you have depression.
Again, thanks for sharing and I’m hoping you’re feeling brighter soon.
Rhian
C heers to being open. I’m sure your words helped someone!
It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. I admire your courage. I know many people who suffer with depression and take medication for it. When they don’t they are off and the mood swings are not within their control. I have been fortunate and have never had to deal with it, but I have family members who do. Writing novels is a very stressful job, and the stress of finishing a book or trying to make sure you keep it at the same level or even higher than your other books, can take its toll on you emotionally. I love all of your books and applaud you for writing them. Not many writers are as gifted as you are, and I wish I had the creativity to write and bring so much happiness to others as you have. I am glad that you continue to write them. You have a huge fan base that supports you and admires you not only for the person we see you as, but also as the person who gives so much to others through your writing. I am sure you are just as generous with your family. More people in this world should be like you. It would be a much happier place. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks. Our family had its first experience with mental illness when our son-in-law was diagnosed with a paranoid psychosis 3 years ago. He was hospitalized for 2 months because his illness made him refuse meds and our daughter had to go to court to force him to take the meds. They have found the right combination of meds and he is now retired from the P.D. And primary caregiver for our grandsons. Hang in there! You are very brave, we’re with you!
Thanks for posting this, Carly. Even though you’ve dealt with this for quite a while, there are many that are still not sure how to handle their situation. Having been through a VERY dark time several years ago, I applaud your courage and forthrightness. Having someone that you admire admit to being, well, human like the rest of us is great. And, all this grey weather could make anyone feel yucky. Here’s to Spring, and to you feeling your happy self soon. <3
Carly,
And, THIS, is why your fans love you. Yes, you write fantastic books, with characters we WANT to know and places we want to visit. But, allowing us a small glimpse into the non-author part of you, is priceless.
So many of us live with conditions that alter how we engage in work, recreation and relaxation. It takes a very special woman to speak of her journey, honestly. Know that your fans stand beside you and support you. Not just because you entertain us, when we need a boost, but you….are YOU.
Continue to practice self-care and honor your healing process. Your body knows what it needs and when it needs it.
I wish I could ship some FL sunshine to everyone getting walloped by winter.
:yourock:
It is very hard to talk about because people judge. I’ve suffered depression all my life. It wasn’t diagnosed until I was put on medication after my third pregnancy for post partem depression. That was when we realised I was sad most of my life. It was all I ever knew so I didn’t know any better.
Carly, thank you for sharing this with your readers as we really care about you-as a person! Take care of yourself and know that we are here for you! :wave:
First know that you are loved and supported! Mental Health is a very big issue for me because I have had to deal with a daughter who was diagnosed depression, and later rapid cycle bipolar since she was 5 years old. The stigma alone makes it very difficult for people to receive the treatment they deserve and when one as brave as you comes out with this it is just one step closer to making a difference. Thank you!!!! :wave:
Thanks Carly for share your life and your books with us. You coming out and telling us about depression has probably helped others to know they are not alone. You are a very strong woman. :yourock:
I suffered depression in the late nineties and still occasionally feel it.
Carly, everybody is different and has issues. They either don’t want to talk about them or they put them out there for everybody to see. Never feel bad about who and what you are. This is what makes our diverse world what it is today. I for one would not want to change it!
https://carlyphillips.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/party0019.gif
Thanks for being open & honest! When I was in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) I was always the “kick-off speaker”. I would stand up in front of all these Moms… some of them still bleary-eyed from the struggle of getting their kids up & out of the house, and I would show my blood pressure pills & explain that my twin pregnancy ended up with ME being stuck in the hospital after birth with severe toxemia and a resulting lifetime need for blood pressure pills. I would then hold up my anti-dep meds and explain that I’d always been a bit “moody”, but again, after the twin pregnancy & hormones, my brain chemicals were so knocked out of whack that I had severe need for antidepressants. I made sure to look each & every one of those Moms in the eyes and tell them that there is NO DISGRACE is admitting to a medical issue – that just as I need the blood pressure meds to be the best Mom I can be for my kids, I also need the antidepressants to be the best ME I can be. I would tell them how after my twin pg, I was getting so OCD that in the middle of a snowstorm, I would go outside to clean my kitchen’s bay window because I was cleaning the insides AND outsides of all the windows I had to look out of each day. I also told them about how **while the OB was pulling Son #3 from me**, The Man looked at him & said, “Now make sure you give us that Zoloft prescription before you leave the hospital today.” (True story!) Each year I could always count on at least ONE woman to come up to me, in tears, admitting she needed help but was afraid to admit it. My motto? Better living through chemicals! The Man knows he has two rules to live by – keep The Wife medicated & caffeinated LOL! Like you, Carly, I’m also starting to feel the need to have meds tweaked. It becomes a vicious cycle – by time you realize you need the tweak, you’re already started to succumb to that lack of desire to do anything about it. Your post is giving me that prompt today to call & talk to the doc – so thanks!
Bless you! It takes a strength not many possess to talk about depression, anxiety attacks or any or the MANY other mental issues thousands of people struggle with on a daily basis. I just lost my best friend from high school last week to suicide and in the reaching out people do during a time like this I am reeling! Not only from my friends passing but from the number of people who have been affected by suicide in one way or another. It breaks my heart to think of people who need help and don’t get it. There is no shame in taking medication or getting therapy of any kind! Like you said, “it’s like a cold”. We treat our physical body we have to take care of our mental health as well. Hugs to you as you work on getting the meds adjusted. ❤️
Bless you, our sweet girl!! That took a whole lot of of love to admit that you have an illness called depression.
You will never know how many people you just helped with this admission.
I too have it. Plus I have autoimmune diseases that I am trying to live with. The constant bombardment of pain is horrific. Both with the depression and the autoimmune diseases. The talent you share with your writings has been a Godsend to me as I am home bound and I escape my life in your books.
Thank You for sharing this with us. My prayers are with you.
Thanks for being upfront. I have had clinical depression and SADD for many years. Sometimes medication keeps it at bay but not always. And I think this winter has been one of the hardest for people diagnosed with SADD. I am praying for the sun and warmer weather soon.
I think you’re VERY brave for admitting this, Carly! I have depression and I know how it is that some people can look at you and judge you for something that’s entirely not your fault and that you have to struggle with daily. I had two severe crisis in the last 3 years, during which I could barely function and I’ve had to increase my medication in the last one in the hopes that it’d help. Thankfully, it did. I recommend watching a video called ‘My Black Dog’ on YouTube. I don’t have the link to it right now, but it truly touched me when I first found it.
Oh, and thank you also for your books cause reading is one of the things that I use to occupy my mind when I’m down. And it helps a lot.
Hang in there, Carly!
Sorry, the video is ‘I had a black dog’ and here’s the link: http://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc
It’s from the World Health Organization.
Your big girl panties have been abused enough. Take a few and find your center, or slightly off center, then pick up those big girl panties and keep on going. God bless
Thank you for your honesty, you courageous woman. You are not alone… You just have the ability to be the voice of many! Thank you!
Carly this is a great post and just know you are NOT ALONE. I also suffer from depression. My family is full of it unfortunately. I take medicine everyday and I was in therapy for 10 years. The best thing I ever did and the only reason I am not going right now is because the counselor I had took a job somewhere else and I have not been able to find one I connected with like her :(. As a woman I also feel like hormones play a huge role in depression as well as weather. One thing that helps me is a cd set, I listen to, by Lucinda Bassett. It is pricey but in my opinion worth every dime! Anyway thank you for sharing and much love and prayers to you while your going through this.
Thank you for revealing your depression. It hits home with me, as I suffer from chronic depression and acute anxiety. This winter has been a rough one. I am hoping with the sun and warmer temperatures we will all feel a bit better. Cheers to you for sharing!
Thank you, Carly, for sharing your personal life with us! I do hope you can get it lined out and start to feel like your normal self again! I won’t ramble and tell my whole life story in a blog comment, but I will just say that I also suffer from anxiety and depression.
I was lucky enough to find a good doctor finally, and she changed my meds and hit a home run on the first try. This one has me feeling like myself again, and finally even keel again. People who have never experienced it have trouble truly understanding what it’s like, so it is sometimes nice just to know that someone else understands.
I’m a total fangirl and I think you’re amazing! Thank you again for sharing yourself with us so freely! 🙂
Carly- The disease has come a long way in its acceptance level but it’s still not there yet. I live in a family where in the late ’50s my mom became bipolar but it wasn’t termed that yet. She underwent electro-shock therapy, was institutionalized for some months and had bouts of it for years until she read an article about lithium treatment in the ’70s.
my son & I take meds for bipolar, his more so than mine, one daughter for depression & the other for anxiety. We all live with the knowledge that for us, it is heredity, part of our DNA. in recent visit to my cousin who is 16 years my junior, my sister (also on meds) & I filled her in on the history. She had no idea & was relieved because she suffers from it, too.
It s far better to be open & help others who live in sadness than to keep it in & miss support for yourself.
Paula
Carly- The disease has come a long way in its acceptance level but it’s still not there yet. I live in a family where in the late ’50s my mom became bipolar but it wasn’t termed that yet. She underwent electro-shock therapy, was institutionalized for some months and had bouts of it for years until she read an article about lithium treatment in the ’70s.
my son & I take meds for bipolar, his more so than mine, one daughter for depression & the other for anxiety. We all live with the knowledge that for us, it is heredity, part of our DNA. in recent visit to my cousin who is 16 years my junior, my sister (also on meds) & I filled her in on the history. She had no idea & was relieved because she suffers from it, too.
It s far better to be open & help others who live in sadness than to keep it in & miss support for yourself.
Paula
Thanks for sharing with all of us. You are strong and brave! I’ve never been diagnosed with depression, but have wondered if I don’t have some of the symptoms. I do think winter and lack of sunlight is part of my problem. While I’m not one to sit out in the sun for long periods of time, I need to see the sunshine. :yourock:
Carly, you are amazing. Not everyone has the strength to admit it. I’m glad you told the truth. I had a friend (she didn’t die – thank god- we just drifted apart) that refused to admit she needed help and was up and down and turned around frequently. I respect people who admit when they need help. Good for you Carly! I’m so glad you were brave enough to talk about it.
I am with you – depression is a constant battle at times and at other times so far away. I had to start adding vitamin D also everyday as it is the vitamin that is we are supposed to get from the sun and from our diet. This also has helped. Thank you for your sharing.
Carly you are one amazing lady!! You not shying away from discussing depression is a very giving thing. Alot of people would not be so open to share, why because people judge. Thanks for sharing what’s going on with you in life. I’ve had Sadd it’s not fun, they have these amazing lamps that really help. Lots of Love and healing thoughts!
It sounds as though SADD could be a big contributor in your situation. Have you tried working under a daylight lamp? I worked in the mental health field for over 20 years plus my father had issues. It is nothing to be ashamed of and anyone who feels off should seek help. We can’t help it if we develop chemical imbalances or if we just need to talk to someone. I am glad that you were able to get help fairly early in life and yes, medications do need to be adjusted or even changed as our bodies may become immune to whatever we are taking at the moment.
:cheerleader2: Thanks for sharing and by speaking out perhaps it’ll help others suffering and too embarrassed to speak out themselves.
My husband has depression and anxiety. He felt like everyone would look down on him. I told him if they did it was their problem not his. Depression is an illness same and can be treated in different ways, the same as with other illnesses.
Thank you. I can’t take medication for mine and right now it is overwhelming and there are days I feel like walking away… But where to? Actually my mom listens. Wish the hubs did. Son is depressed too. So two of us in the house. Gloomy gus’
Think a few fresh flowers to brighten my life today.
And a new Carly book 😉
Good morning Carly,
I hit my breaking point in January 2009 when I was in the process of selling my home. It was a Saturday night, and I came so close to loosing it completely… :angry: I knew I had to get help. The following week I went to a doctor that a friend recommended, went through some tests and I have been on medication since. Truth be told it’s not anyones business but mine. But, if I thought that I could help one person by talking of what I went through, I would gladly do so in a heartbeat.
I wish you well and continue to seek medical treatment as that is what doctors, medicine and knowledge of treatment are for.
Ginger
I myself suffer from depression, I have for many years and did not realize it until my mother was very ill. I take meds to help keep me on a even keel then life can and does upset me for awhile then I’m out of the funk and back at it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Showing that were human and this is how our life tends to be sometimes. Your a wonderful writer and I appreciate all that you do for us. Thank you Carly!!! Hugs!!!
Thank you for being honest and posting this. There is no shame in needing help for something that is serious. I too suffer from SADD and have family members who suffer from Depression. I went thru a period of time with depression because of medical issues that couldn’t be diagnosed right away. It was frustrating and I’m not able to work right now so it took it’s toll on me. Thankfully,I have the support of family and friends and a great Dr who supports me and helped. I got out more instead of being indoors all the time and that helped a lot. Reading also helped take my mind off things. Thank you for posting and being honest. This will help others who go thru the same thing. Peace to you.
I too suffer from depression and have for many years. It is a tribute to you and your courage to admit it publicly. Thank you.
Tupi may find the lack of sun does make what is always there worse. Thank you for sharing, you are very open and wonderful. Even if you do like pink! :angelbanana:
Carly, you hang in there. Like you I have also felt off since I was a a young teen.
Depression is a very real thing. I suffer from my on demons too. Right now I can’t sleep at night ( I keep reading that menopause can make that worse)and I don’t feel like doing anything I just dragged myself out of bed (after 10am). I usually run in high gear and get everything done. I am hoping warm weather and sunshine will help. I am getting my pups in less than 2 weeks I am sure having them will help.(you know I lost me dog) The SADD has been bad even for me living in the deep south. Cold, wet and no sun is about to do me in. (I never will complain about the heat and humidity. I will take that over the cold any day)
You hang in there, Spring is coming. You are smart and funny and oh, so talented and we all love you.
Gigi- Insomnia is a symptom of menopause and pre-menopause. I had night sweats, insomnia, and severe leg aches. My doctor put me on the mildest dose of hormones and it helped tremendously. She also suggested Black Cohash (not sure if it’s spelled right) as a natural supplement.
Carly, I hope you know that I heart you no matter what. A lot of my family members suffer from depression, so I am hypersensitive to it and when others are suffering. Lots of love and hugs. Wish I could help you more.
As you can see, there are a lot of us who need medication and possibly a therapist. Thanks to all of you (and especially Carly) for sharing. Hang in there.
You are an Amazing lady! Thank you for sharing with us. :yourock: 😀
We all have things to deal with. I also have been diagnosed with depression – about 15 years ago. My daughter was also diagnosed. We are both on the same medication – she hates it, I accept it. Could be the difference in age – she’s 24, I’m 61. Take each day as it comes. Getting out of bed, for me, is the first step. Especially since I got laid off on New Years Eve…lol Hang in there.
I admire you. I also suffer from depression (as well as other medical problems) and have often had the same troubles with medications. In fact, one of my migraine medications was just increased. I think it is important to let people know that depression is not something that should be hidden, that often makes it worse. I know I’ve always felt worse when I was trying to be ‘normal’. I think people also need to realize there is not as much stigma as there used to be for getting the help you need with mental or psychological problems. It is nothing to be ashamed of. The only shame should come if you have the problem, recognize it and do nothing to get help for it – especially if you can’t handle it by yourself. I’m not stating that everyone should be medicated, going to a counselor or whatever works for you is fine if you don’t like medication. I think more people need to realize that problems like depression are more prevalent than people think and there is no shame in asking for or getting help.
Thanks for having the courage to share your story with us!
Bless you. The human mind and body is such a complex creature. I imagine the majority of people have systems that don’t regulate themselves correctly 24/7. I really believe 200 years from now the world will wonder why we didn’t recognize and treat the physiology sooner. As you said, just like heart disease. I also think writers generate and then have to process an excessive amount of additional emotion. That translates into a heady chemical cocktail on a very regular basis. It’s brave and kind of you to share your private journey with us.
@carlyphillips Thanks for sharing your struggle. So brave and will give hope to all who share the same.
Well, how appropriate that I read this today. I also suffer from SAD.Luckily, we moved out of the “Gray Belt” of the Midwest and back to the Sunny South-where it hasn’t been sunny for three days now. Friday and Saturday were beautiful, but I had to work indoors. I have been off since then and it has rained for three days. It is 11:40 am and I am still in my nightgown and I haven’t had a shower since Saturday. Ugh. Back in the 1980’s, following the death of both my parents and future father-in-law within 18 months, I went to my Internist and told him I needed help. Luckily, he started me on meds that day and referred me to a clinical psychologist. I said then and I say now that we need another name for this disease. I used to tell people that I had a “chemical imbalance” because “depression” had such a negative connotation. I was on meds for many, many years and finally was able to discontinue them. I am OK, except when it is cloudy. Even one day can have an impact on me. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope all our stories help you see that you are not alone. Others have mentioned light therapy which is great. I also used biofeedback techniques from my psychologist which helped greatly. I am going to take a shower now. 😉
Hi Carly, thank you for sharing with us about your depression, I think if truth be told all women have some form of depression, some stronger and deeper than others, it can come from changes in our lives, loss of job, kids moving out and going to college, that ugly little thing called menopause. For me it’s the fact that I’ve been out of work for 7 months and my youngest daughter just moved out.I’ve cleaned this house from top to bottom, I do job searches everyday, but sometimes I feel that dark spot wanting to get larger that’s when I pick up a book, right now I’m reading a Lucky Harbor book by Jill Shalvis, I have 4 favorite authors you, Lori Foster, Robyn Carr and Jill Shalvis, I keep all your current books close to me and that is my escape time. I also have an amazing husband who will ask me on the weekend if any of my ladies have come out with a new book and do I need a trip to the book store or have I downloaded the latest book. I know everyone has their own way of dealing with depression and most of us are pretty quiet about it, thank you for sharing with us whats going on with you. We love you and will support you. 🙂
:cheerleader2: I think sometimes it helps just to admit something out loud. It seems to make it less powerful. My mom’s solution was to focus on others in more need but maybe sometimes we just need to :starswars: battle our demons the best way we can!
Carly I’ve dealt with clinical depression for years. I take meds and it was hard finding the right one. No need to feel embarrassed about this. I tell people I take Happy Pills. The SADD (seasonal disorder), nice to know that is what I went through in Jan and Feb this year. Usually it is only in Jan. And CA didn’t even have a winter this year. Go figure. So hang in there, and know your fans are here for you.
Was treated for depression after my mom died. Went off my medication then and got along fine for several years. Then two years ago it returned with a vengeance. Went back on meds for awhile then decided I didn’t want to go that route so I have battled it on my own with the help of a lot of prayers. There are many reasons for depression, many triggers. Too much stress, for example can create a chemical imbalance in the brain. People always look at mental illness as another term for crazy. That simply isn’t so. Like Carly said, its no different than having a cold. It’s just another part of the body that’s affected. Thank you for being honest and sharing your struggles. It lets me know I am not alone. We should all gather round and help and encourage those who are suffering, whether it be from cancer, depression, or another type of illness. The world would be a better place.
Bravo for admitting to your depression. I was diagnosed as clinically depressed in my early 20’s, and meds do work! You would think in this day and age, the stigma would be gone, but when some people hear depressed, they look at us like we’re gonna go loco on them. I have never been a threat to anyone, but the world does not always treat us that way. Rant over.
Carly, thank you for posting this.
I also suffer from depression and panic attacks. I rarely tell anyone that I have this condition and take meds for it. After reading your post, I figured if you are brave enough to publicly state this, then I could also ‘come out of the closet’ and admit it too.
Over the years, I have so wanted to get off the meds and have tried several times. I thought will power alone could get me through it instead of medicine. It doesn’t work that way for me. As my doctors have said, “Could you cure yourself of a pneumonia or another type of illness with will power?” When I answer no, then they ask me why I think I can cure my depression and panic attacks with will power. Makes sense. I still don’t like having to take the meds but it keeps me sane. Most of the time anyway. 🙂
I take meds every day for Panic Attacks… I suffered with them since I was 2. It wasn’t until my oldest was 4 that I found a medication that works for me. I’ve been taking it for 30 yrs now. It saved my sanity. I admire that you put yourself out there we all have something to deal with. :ringaroundrosey: :yourock:
The Truth!!! I was an RN for 38 yrs before I was forced into permanent disability because my back is literally falling apart. When I went through the change at 50, I went through a severe clinical depression. As I refer to it now = I went to the dark side! Were it not for my friends and my doctor, I wouldn’t be here now. Depression is not a “state of mind.” It is a clinical disease process and there is nothing wrong with admitting you have it and getting the proper treatment for it. You are a brave woman for admitting this to the world, Carly, and I’m very proud of you!!! :clap:
Your very right it is hard to admit you have depression or any other disorder! I am battling depression now for the first time in my life and I hate it. I was recently diagnosed with Epliepsy, I have grand mal seizures! On top of that I’m going blind ( lost all color vision and per phial vision), in pain and nauseated 24/7. So I’m going through a lot which is hard to deal with! I completely understand how depression just sneaks up on you and takes over. I’m looking forward to some sunshine too….a vacation would be nice if my hubby and I could afford it, hopefully this summer!!!! I need a beach lol!!
@carlyphillips thank you for sharing. There are so many of us that deal with some form of depression, anxiety, e
Thank you, Carly, for admitting that. I, too, suffer from depression. Sometimes the medicine works just fine, other times, it just doesn’t quite measure up for awhile. I so totally understand where you are coming from. After awhile, it is a battle just doing every day things, not to mention anything extra. Keep on keeping on, and we will fight in this battle together. All of us.
Thank you for bringing this subject out into the open. You are very brave. Thank you for being so open and honest. :cheerleader2: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Thanks, I have suffered from Depression, also. This past winter was one where I did not feel I was suffering from SADD – why? because I started taking D3. I imagine sunshine would work, but lacking that D3 helps. I also exercise at Curves and the ladies there act like they are part of your family. They help each other get through things. Sometimes offering a hug or receiving one from someone helps make your day feel better.
I hope you find what will work for you. I still need professional help sometimes but not all the time.
You’re an amazing woman. Thank you for telling us your personal story. You have helped many who fear the stigma of such an admission. Thinking about you and sending hugs.
@carlyphillips Bravo for speaking out!! Mental health issues still face such a stigma. Many don’t want to ask for help, myself included.
As someone who takes citalopram for depression and alprazolam for anxiety, I know from whence you come. I was diagnosed after I had to deal with a job I hated, a father in failing health who needed to be put in a nursing home (but refused to go, the death of my much loved mother-in-law, and a husband who kept ALL of his emotions locked up tight and shut me out when he brother was put on life support two weeks ago. I had tried recently to cut the citalopram back to every other day, but the doc said no, when I started the crying jags after finding out this week I have cataracts and a retinas that are close to tearing. Faith, medicine, and authors like you keep me sane. God bless you, and keep on trucking. None of us are alone unless we chose to be.
A huge tip of my hat for all who suffer, be it in silence or crying (as in my case) all the way to a health professional. Talking helps. It really does, and you always find that there is someone out there with problems far worse than your own, and while that sucks, it helps to know that your problems and feelings can be classified as good c
ompared to someone else.
You are amazing- I do not suffer from depression, yet I have off days. I cannot even imagine having more than a few off days in a row. You’ve helped so many people with this from the heart post. The sunshine will be here soon, and I hope your sunshine comes back soon! And if you don’t post on your blog every day, it’s OK. You have yo have time for yourself, even if it includes not writing for a while!
It is hard to be open about something as personal as depression. The more people talk about it, in a matter-of-fact, nonjudgmental way, though, the more mainstream it becomes. to shine a light on the problem leads to comprehension and understanding from those who don’t have any experience with the disease. So good for you for being courageous and honest.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy did *wonders* for me. When I feel myself sinking, I try to be hyper aware of the why of it, and work to remind myself that it’s the depression talking. I’ve been med free for about 7 years. I hope you find something that works for you.
Thank you for being brave.
Carly ~ feel good about what you have done here on this blog :angelbanana: I suffer with depression mostly fueled by Type 1 Diabetes…a chronic disease that NEVER goes away and NEVER lets up, NEVER goes on vacation… :hairpull:
I have used medication to help and self education about all that ails me. I found FOR ME medication had too many negative side effects with all the other meds I takek, over 17 :oops2: I counteract it with light (my house is full of light/windows/skylights) :glasses: and things that make me smile or give me pleasure. :flowerforyou: My on-line name is VERY representative of me. I love glittery things SO ~ I have gel fingernails that sparkle, have rings on EVERY finger, have on multiple crystal bracelets including my Diabetes ID bracelet (interchangeable bracelets for what I’m wearing), gemstone earrings and ALWAYS a lapel pin. When I feel the “wave” coming on 😥 I look at my hands and I smile :cloud9: It helps. As does my effort to pass on a smile :cheese: to everyone I meet. I read and escape for a while :reading: I recognize your smile and upbeat writings for a kindred spirit. Smile my sister and find joy and take it EVERY day 😀
we all suffer from depression-some more than others. and i am sorry you are going through what you are but you have lots of support from family, loved ones, and us-your readers. we all have been there-you are the strong one to talk about it and bring it out in the open. that’s what many people can’t do and it can fester. and our bodies change each year so sometimes a change or adjustment in meds are needed. you recognize these sad feelings. look at how many people have depression and don’t/can’t do anything about it. we just had a 22 yr old girl locally shoot herself at a firing range-her fiance had died. she was upset, etc. and yet her brother went with her to a firing range!! tell me she wasn’t depressed over her loss. there are many horror stories out there. and we all have reasons whether family, jobs, friends, etc. and the route of all evil-money.
things change when you least expect it. thank you for being vocal about your feelings. i will bet you have helped many of your readers by your open and honest comments. they will know that someone cares and more important-understands. and hopefully will go speak with someone-vocal therapy can be good. you take care and keep hugging your kids!!
Thank you for sharing, you are wonderful.
Sending you sunshine, hugs and warmth to one of the bravest women I know (of)! :worship:
I just want to commend you and all these ladies we have written and deal with his everyday, may god bless you all
:cheer: cheers to all of you
I’m sorry that you’re having such a tough winter…I think we’re all so done with it! I’ve suffered from SADD forever and I use light therapy that really works. That combined with my Zoloft keeps me balanced during these long, dark days. Thank god! I’m sure it doesn’t help that your job is mostly solitary which might leave you feeling isolated at times. I know I have better days during the winter months when I’m around people. Maybe try meeting friends for lunch or joining a friend for a walk. My answer to those bad days is to crawl into bed and put on Harry Potter…life always makes sense after some HP to me! Whatever the case, I hope you’re able to get some sun and feel better soon! It’s never easy but we’re pulling for you and you’re definitely not alone!
You are so wonderful for sharing this. It is so important for people to know that they are not alone. My husband lost a cousin a little over a year ago to suicide, and until just before that, I had no idea that she had battled depression all her life. I don’t know if I could have done anything to help, as she had a wonderful supporting group of family and friends, but who knows?
Hi Carly,
I had been following you on Facebook and for some reason, I haven’t been getting your posts lately. I’m glad I picked today to look you up again, otherwise I would have missed this post. Thank you for being so brave and talking about your struggles with depression. I’ve struggled with it as well, and there is no shame in needing help with your problems or needing medication to control it. I think that the more we talk about it, the less stigma there will be attached to it, so good on you for talking about it. I hope you ‘re feeling better soon! Thanks for all the wonderfully engaging and funny books, you are awesome!!
I agree with you. I’m a talker. I like to put things out there. Drives my husband crazy because he was raised to hold everything in. I think by sharing you start to realize there are many others in your same situation. :hug:
I’ve read over sensitive people suffer more than others for the same reasons you mentioned. It’s definitely not easy going through this but it’s encouraging to know people are not alone. *hugs*
Thank you Carly for sharing & opening up about depression. I grew up in a ho\usehold where we kept our emotions inside or until we erupted. My mom doesn’t understand why someone would need medication for the “blues”. This depite her mother & older sister displaying symptoms of being bi-polar. My sister is also bi-polar & medication has really helped her. I began on an anti-anxiety medicine to calm me down after having a heart attack. It has really helped me and mellowed me in a good way. I still have down days & days where I am just overwhelmed – but am able to handle more than I used to.
:hug: Many people, myself included, have gone or are going through depression. The more it’s talked about the more people will seek help. You’re a doll, Carly! :heart:
:yuck: Oh Carly, I’m sorry you suffer. I thought I was suffering from depression some time ago and, unfortunately, was sent to a social worker not anyone who could really help. She simply told me I needed to talk about my feelings with the person who made them worse. I stopped going, and never talked. Now I’m the caregiver for that person who has dementia and is not pleasant to be around. Since I seem to “fail” at everything I do for that person, my depression is a constant battle. I talk to God every night and that helps get it off my chest and I continue daily to do the best I can. And that’s what you’re doing, making us all laugh out loud, curse, and cry with you books. So glad we’re not paying you psychiatrists fees! We love you no matter what beast you battle and we’ll always be here for you.
I seem to be a day late… which is typical for me. Thank you for this post. I too suffer from depression and take meds. My husband calls them my “happy pills”. They are working now but I understand the frustration when they stop working and you need to find something new. Good luck! Know that all your fans support you.
I think you’re very brave to put this out there and thank you for it. I’ve gone through bouts of depression too. I don’t feel as though they’ve affected me very much so I guess I don’t have the struggle others have had. I did take a low dose medicine for a short time, but didn’t notice a difference. During that period, my depression seemed more related to things in my world that I could change, so I set about to make a few changes. I have also suffered from SADD…growing up in Vermont, it’s a relatively common disorder for people to suffer from. I missed sixty days of school one year between depression and illness. I hope you find a solution that works for you, just don’t give up, because it always gets better!
I can most certainly relate as I suffer from depression, panic disorder, and fibromyalgia (among others). All three of these tend to elicit an “it’s all in your head” comment/look from many people. Let me tell you — they are all real and all aided by medication. Even once a medication (or combination thereof) are found that works, there will come a time when they stop working and need to be switched. Once again, there’s the terrible time until a new combo, etc., is found that will work. I’ve also found that even with meds, I still have what I call “break through episodes” where I’ll have intense pain or deep depression or even total panic mode. After years and years of suffering, I am more than proud to say that I took the situations in hand and started on a journey to wellness and :tongue: to anyone who doesn’t understand. It’s nice to know that you aren’t alone — hang in there! :batlash:
Thank you for speaking up. It helps to know that successful and creative people, such as yourself, also suffer from this debilitating disease.
Like most people with migraines, I’ve also battled with depression for much of my adult life. And while medications can and do help, nothing works perfectly or forever. And throw menopause into the mix… all bets are off.
I hate the constant shuffling and tweaking of my regime (until I get frustrated and quit taking it all together, which quickly reminds me that even a few side effects are better than living with my disease completely unaided!) Whether it’s lethargy or fuzziness, I’d love to know what ‘normal’ felt like.
My family deserves me to be the best I can be so I try to stay positive and give myself credit for doing something every day, no matter how small. And having my dog to make me get out and moving is a big help.
Hang in there. At least depression doesn’t have to be hidden away in a closet like it was when I was a kid. I can remember my parents saying that all it took was ‘putting your mind to it’ and you’d be better. That never has and never will work. But if you don’t talk about it to your physician, there is no help to be had at all.
Bless you for sharing your story…hopefully it will help not only those who are dealing with their own depression now but perhaps those who think they might have it. Hugs to you!!
I have to say it took a lot of courage to admit you suffer from depression. I hope you get regulated soon. I myself have suffered from depression since a very early age. I did not have a great home life growing up and that is a large part of my depression. I just realized in talking with my doctor that I probably have SADD too. This has been a hard winter for us and I have seen very little sun. I hope this weather breaks soon so we can get the little bit of sun we need. I applaud you for standing up and talking about it. I feel there is not enough discussion so people don’t understand mental illness and do not accept it enough.
I’m so sorry that you struggle. I too struggle. I have to be strong one in my family. I am the peacemaker. I am the one everyone comes to to fix things. Sometimes it is too much and lately there have been added stress because of my job. I try really hard to say and believe “let go and let God” sometimes I am more successful than others.
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